omg my mom just came into my room and told me that I’m spending too much time on the internet so she told me “I’m sorry I have to do this but its for your own good…” and then she proceeded to delete the internet explorer icon from my desktop I’m laughing so hard I’m gonna pee myself omfg
(Source: parasailin-sarahpalin)
We create first impressions based on the smallest of things. A smile. A firm handshake. A friendly demeanor. But, humans are layered. We lift veil after veil, and it’s only when we slip past a smile and meander through our cortex that we find something that we can truly call human. We’re built…
(Source: commovente)
I love the term ‘we’re expecting’ when talking about pregnancy
Because it makes it sound like there’s more than one outcome.
Yeah, we’re expecting a baby.
But it could be a velociraptor.
(Source: not-a-painbow)
WAIT, STOP.
I’M SORRY, THE ENTIRE TIME YOU WERE TALKING I THOUGHT IT WAS AN ELABORATE SETUP FOR A JOKE BUT THEN I REALIZED YOU’RE JUST EXTREMELY BORING.
I’m hiring
needs: scientist to live with
must have science interests and money to buy me a piano
no pay but i cook well
offers to my blog please
